1 00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:54,346 Listen to me! Killing a few hostages is not sufficient! 2 00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:57,015 The Americans must be made to suffer. 3 00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:59,434 We must humiliate them. 4 00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:02,145 You do not go far enough, General Amin. 5 00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:05,982 We must strip their entrails out and drag them to Damascus, 6 00:01:06,107 --> 00:01:09,903 until they include us in the peace process. 7 00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:14,491 Nonsense! This solution is not bold enough for Libya. 8 00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:18,620 l say wipe out Washington and New York. 9 00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:22,415 What? And spoil three years of good PR? 10 00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:25,710 The Americans believe l'm a nice guy. 11 00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:30,006 ln some of their polls, l'm more popular than their president! 12 00:01:32,509 --> 00:01:36,930 Gentlemen! Gentlemen! This is getting us nowhere. 13 00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:40,350 lf we do nothing else this week, 14 00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:44,270 we must conceive at least one terrorist act 15 00:01:44,396 --> 00:01:47,190 that will show all the world 16 00:01:47,315 --> 00:01:50,276 that the United States, the great Satan, 17 00:01:50,402 --> 00:01:53,530 is but a paper tiger - a weak nation, 18 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:58,410 a weak people, a people ripe for destruction. 19 00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:02,080 Cowards, no longer willing to fight. 20 00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:25,437 l knew it! 21 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,683 Hey, who are you? 22 00:03:03,808 --> 00:03:06,353 l'm Lieutenant Frank Drebin, Police Squad. 23 00:03:06,478 --> 00:03:09,689 And don't ever let me catch you guys in America! 24 00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:39,803 Watch out! 25 00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:44,969 ..98, 99, 100. lt's all here. 26 00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:48,264 This completes our first shipment of heroin. 27 00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:50,475 100~/. pure. 28 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,811 lt better be - all 40 kilos. 29 00:05:52,936 --> 00:05:56,314 The final shipment will be delivered in three days. 30 00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:59,943 - Then we'll expect payment. - Don't worry.' 31 00:06:28,304 --> 00:06:30,807 Police! Throw down your guns! 32 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,415 Kill him. 33 00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:47,967 lt's a great day for Americans. This man alone... 34 00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:58,520 There he is! 35 00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:01,690 No flowers, thank you. 36 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:05,402 Welcome home, Frank. Good work in Beirut. We heard about it. 37 00:08:05,527 --> 00:08:09,614 Thanks. l want to know one thing - is it true about Victoria? 38 00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:13,326 l'm afraid so. She ran off with some guy. 39 00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:15,996 They got married last week. 40 00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:19,749 Then it's over. All of this is meaningless. 41 00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:22,627 l did it for her. Everything. 42 00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:25,213 And now she's gone. 43 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:29,467 And you came down here to get a hot story, didn't you? 44 00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:32,095 Pictures of me to sell your newspapers. 45 00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:35,932 - Frank... - Sure, you think l'm a big hero. 46 00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:40,562 Do any of you understand how a man can hurt inside? 47 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,772 Frank, they're not here for you. 48 00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:45,358 ''Weird Al'' Yankovic is on the plane. 49 00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:53,658 What about the wedding? What was she wearing? 50 00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:57,162 Don't torture yourself! Put her out of your mind. 51 00:08:57,287 --> 00:09:00,915 l can't get her out of my mind. What about the guy? 52 00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:04,252 - Do you know anything about him? - Not much. 53 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,504 Just that he's an Olympic gymnast 54 00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:09,299 and it's the best sex she's ever had. 55 00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:14,971 l trusted her and followed my heart. Foolishly, it seems. 56 00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:17,682 l'm just gonna have to learn to forget. 57 00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:22,896 That's why l took my vacation in Beirut - to find some peace. 58 00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:25,023 lt won't be easy. 59 00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:28,526 Everywhere l look, something reminds me of her. 60 00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:33,323 Maybe cops and women just don't mix. 61 00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:36,826 What about Nordberg? l came as soon as l heard. 62 00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:39,287 He's alive, but on life support. 63 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:42,082 He's got a 50/50 chance of living, 64 00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:46,294 though there's only a 10~/. chance of that. 65 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:12,362 Mrs Nordberg, l think we can save your husband's arm. 66 00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:14,489 Where would you like it sent? 67 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:19,703 - Frank! l'm so glad you came! - Wilma, l came as soon as l heard. 68 00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:21,454 Thank you, Frank. 69 00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:24,708 - Where's Nordberg? - He's right here. 70 00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:28,294 Nordberg, it's Frank, your buddy. 71 00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:32,674 l'll get it! 72 00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:39,264 Get the switch at the back of the bed! 73 00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:46,938 Nordberg, it's me, Frank. Who did this to you? 74 00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:49,024 l...love you. 75 00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:54,237 l love you, too, Nordberg. Who were they? 76 00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:57,991 - Ship... Boat... - That's right. A boat. 77 00:10:58,116 --> 00:11:01,328 When you're better, we'll go sailing together, 78 00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:04,205 - just like last year. - No... Drugs. 79 00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:08,710 Nurse, give this man some drugs! Can't you see he's in pain? 80 00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:11,254 - Give him a shot, quickly! - No... 81 00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:14,549 Heroin! Heroin, Frank! 82 00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,926 Nordberg, that's a pretty tall order. 83 00:11:17,052 --> 00:11:20,180 Give me a couple of days on that one. 84 00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:26,770 Oh, my poor Nordberg! He was such a good man, Frank. 85 00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:31,232 He never wanted to hurt anyone. Who would do such a thing? 86 00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:32,984 lt's hard to tell. 87 00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:38,114 A gang of thugs, a blackmailer, an angry husband, a gay lover... 88 00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:42,410 Frank, get a hold of yourself! 89 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:47,457 A good cop - needlessly cut down by some cowardly hoodlums. 90 00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:51,044 - No way for a man to die. - You're right, Ed. 91 00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:54,047 A parachute not opening - that's the way to die, 92 00:11:54,172 --> 00:11:56,591 getting caught in a combine, 93 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:59,302 having your nuts bit off by a Laplander. 94 00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:01,429 That's the way l want to go. 95 00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:06,059 Frank! This is terrible! 96 00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:11,523 Don't worry, Wilma. Your husband is gonna be all right. 97 00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:16,611 Just think positive. Never let a doubt enter your mind. 98 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,697 He's right, Wilma, 99 00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:23,702 but don't wait till the last minute to fill out those organ donor cards. 100 00:12:23,827 --> 00:12:27,497 What l'm trying to say is, as soon as Nordberg is better, 101 00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:29,749 he's welcome back at Police Squad. 102 00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:34,879 Unless he's a drooling vegetable, but that's only common sense. 103 00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:41,261 Do you know why Nordberg was at the waterfront? 104 00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:45,056 No... 105 00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:48,351 But l found this at home in a drawer. 106 00:12:49,561 --> 00:12:55,984 A photograph! ''l Luv You'' out of Caracas. 107 00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,778 A Panamanian ship. 108 00:12:58,862 --> 00:13:03,033 When he said ''l love you'', he was telling you the name of the ship! 109 00:13:03,158 --> 00:13:06,202 l realise that...now. 110 00:13:06,328 --> 00:13:10,081 - We'd better check this out. - l want every available man on it. 111 00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:12,250 l can't spare anybody. 112 00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:16,463 We're in charge of security for Queen Elizabeth's visit. 113 00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:19,257 Wilma, whatever scum did this, 114 00:13:19,341 --> 00:13:23,803 no man will rest until he's behind bars. Let's grab a bite to eat. 115 00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:34,189 Due to the extraordinary efforts of some of our civic leaders, 116 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:39,069 Queen Elizabeth has included the city of Los Angeles 117 00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:43,323 as one of the cities she'll visit during her American tour. 118 00:13:44,783 --> 00:13:49,079 Will the city hire additional security officers? 119 00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:54,334 We have placed the Queen's security in the hands of Police Squad, 120 00:13:54,459 --> 00:13:57,545 a special division of the Police Department, 121 00:13:57,671 --> 00:14:00,715 represented here by Lieutenant Frank Drebin. 122 00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:06,721 Thank you, Your Honour. 123 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:09,599 Louder! 124 00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:14,771 - You can use my radio mic. - Thank you. 125 00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:25,240 Thank you, Your Honour. Protecting the Queen's safety 126 00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:29,577 is a task that is gladly accepted by Police Squad. 127 00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:33,748 No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, 128 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:38,837 as Americans we must be gracious and considerate hosts. 129 00:14:40,839 --> 00:14:42,674 Thank you, Lieutenant Drebin. 130 00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:48,513 Of course, we all have a stake in seeing that this portion 131 00:14:48,638 --> 00:14:53,226 of the Queen's American tour is completely protected. 132 00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:58,148 And we can take pride that the Queen... 133 00:15:02,944 --> 00:15:06,197 lndeed, it is for all the people, 134 00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:11,536 who will be able to share in these...celebrations... 135 00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:15,999 Especially exciting... 136 00:15:17,709 --> 00:15:22,922 will be...the Queen's... public appearances. 137 00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:40,732 We also would like... 138 00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:04,047 Ed and l drove to where Nordberg had been found floating. 139 00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:09,177 Without leads, you have to start somewhere, and that was the harbour. 140 00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:12,555 Please disperse. Please disperse. 141 00:16:12,681 --> 00:16:16,976 There's nothing for you to see here. Keep moving. 142 00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:18,895 Where did they find him? 143 00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:21,064 Out there. Do you wanna take a dinghy? 144 00:16:21,189 --> 00:16:24,359 No, l took care of that at the press conference. 145 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:27,737 lt doesn't make sense. Good policeman, bright future... 146 00:16:27,862 --> 00:16:30,156 then something like this happens. 147 00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:32,283 He was found by the nightwatchman. 148 00:16:32,409 --> 00:16:35,120 l'm gonna talk to the harbour-master. 149 00:16:35,245 --> 00:16:37,247 l'll walk around and snoop. 150 00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:46,548 - Yeah? - Lieutenant Drebin, Police Squad. 151 00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:49,217 l remember you. What do you want? 152 00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:53,013 l wanna ask some questions. Are you familiar with that face? 153 00:16:53,138 --> 00:16:56,474 l don't know. My memory ain't so great. 154 00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:59,561 Oh, yeah? Maybe this'll refresh your memory. 155 00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,688 - Still hazy. - How about this? 156 00:17:01,813 --> 00:17:03,940 l remember. Why do you want to know? 157 00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:07,569 - l can't tell you. - Maybe this'll help. 158 00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:11,197 - l don't think l should. - Still don't think so? 159 00:17:11,322 --> 00:17:14,784 - lt's Nordberg, he's a cop. - No, he was dealin' 'H'. 160 00:17:14,909 --> 00:17:16,619 - What? - He was dirty! 161 00:17:16,745 --> 00:17:19,622 Scum! l ought to run you in right now! 162 00:17:19,748 --> 00:17:23,251 He worked at Ludwig's Shipping. He tried to push something. 163 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:26,671 - What are you gonna do about it? - Why should l tell you? 164 00:17:26,796 --> 00:17:29,924 - Maybe this'll help. - l shouldn't tell you. 165 00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:32,469 Can you spot me a 20? How about now? 166 00:17:32,594 --> 00:17:34,721 l'm going down to Ludwig's office. 167 00:17:34,846 --> 00:17:37,432 l'll find out if you're telling the truth. 168 00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:43,605 Vincent Ludwig owned one of the city's largest corporations. 169 00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:46,274 A respected business man and civic leader, 170 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:49,569 he was to chair the Queen's reception committee. 171 00:17:49,694 --> 00:17:53,907 Now l was about to question him about drugs and attempted murder. 172 00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:02,916 - Mr Ludwig? - Yes? 173 00:18:03,041 --> 00:18:05,960 Lieutenant Drebin to see you, sir. 174 00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:10,465 Show him in. 175 00:18:14,886 --> 00:18:17,931 - Lieutenant. - The feeling is mutual. 176 00:18:18,056 --> 00:18:21,810 Nice to meet you, too. Cuban? 177 00:18:21,935 --> 00:18:26,398 No, Dutch-lrish. My father was from Wales. 178 00:18:26,523 --> 00:18:28,024 Sit down. 179 00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:31,361 - What a magnificent office. - Thank you, Lieutenant. 180 00:18:31,486 --> 00:18:35,990 Most objects l have collected over a period of many years - 181 00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:40,787 my Gainsborough, Ming vases. Priceless! 182 00:18:40,912 --> 00:18:45,834 They are objects which l feel reflect my personality, 183 00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:48,128 like the Japanese fighting fish - 184 00:18:48,253 --> 00:18:51,256 beautiful, graceful, elegant... 185 00:18:51,381 --> 00:18:53,591 yet single-minded of purpose 186 00:18:53,717 --> 00:18:57,345 and deadly when it finds what it wants. 187 00:18:57,470 --> 00:19:02,559 This particular one is valued at over $20,000. 188 00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:05,270 A luxury item, to be certain, 189 00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:09,274 but l am a man who appreciates the finer things in life. 190 00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:13,445 Oh, this... This is a rare Samurai pen, 191 00:19:13,570 --> 00:19:16,448 a gift from Emperor Hirohito. 192 00:19:16,573 --> 00:19:20,577 Unbreakable. lmpervious to everything but water. 193 00:19:20,702 --> 00:19:25,540 - lts value is beyond estimation. - That's fascinating. 194 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:30,587 But l'm sure you didn't pay this visit for a lecture on fine art. 195 00:19:30,712 --> 00:19:33,381 To what do l owe the honour? 196 00:19:33,465 --> 00:19:37,260 l'm investigating the attempted murder of a dock worker, 197 00:19:38,970 --> 00:19:42,682 a man named Nordberg, a police officer. 198 00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:46,603 He is still alive, then? 199 00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:49,064 He was shot six times. 200 00:19:49,356 --> 00:19:52,400 Fortunately, the bullets missed every vital organ. 201 00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:56,196 - The salt water preserved him. - So they... 202 00:19:56,321 --> 00:19:58,782 So they got him to the hospital in time? 203 00:19:58,907 --> 00:20:02,869 He's in the intensive care ward at Our Lady of the Worthless Miracle. 204 00:20:02,994 --> 00:20:06,206 This certainly comes as a shock to me. 205 00:20:06,331 --> 00:20:11,544 As you know, l'm not the kind of man who takes such things lightly. 206 00:20:11,670 --> 00:20:15,548 There is no room in my organisation for criminal activity. 207 00:20:15,673 --> 00:20:20,053 Look out there - a vast commercial development built by me. 208 00:20:20,178 --> 00:20:24,224 Do you have any idea what was out there just five years ago? 209 00:20:25,809 --> 00:20:27,769 You bet you do. Orange groves! 210 00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:30,939 Acres of them. As far as the eye could see. 211 00:20:31,064 --> 00:20:35,902 But now that land will generate ten times the amount of profit. 212 00:20:37,362 --> 00:20:39,906 Are you all right, Lieutenant? 213 00:20:40,031 --> 00:20:42,325 Let me get you some Kleenex. 214 00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:45,870 Has this officer - 215 00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:48,081 What's his name? Nordberg - 216 00:20:48,206 --> 00:20:52,210 been able to tell you anything? 217 00:20:52,335 --> 00:20:56,798 Well, he hasn't been able to tell us a thing so far, 218 00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:59,801 but as soon as he regains consciousness, 219 00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:04,014 we'll see if he can still play the guitar. 220 00:21:04,139 --> 00:21:07,559 - Pardon? - l've taken up a lot of your time. 221 00:21:07,684 --> 00:21:10,270 l'd like to look at your employment records 222 00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:12,814 and speak to someone in Personnel. 223 00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:14,482 Of course. 224 00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:18,278 - Dominique, send in Miss Spencer. - Yes, sir. 225 00:21:18,403 --> 00:21:23,074 l am quite busy making arrangements for the royal visit, 226 00:21:23,199 --> 00:21:27,078 but l will have my assistant provide you with anything you need. 227 00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:30,540 You've been very co-operative. l'll note that in my report. 228 00:21:30,665 --> 00:21:32,459 My pleasure. 229 00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:39,924 Miss Spencer! This is Lieutenant Drebin from Police Squad. 230 00:21:41,051 --> 00:21:43,553 Hello...Mr Drebin. 231 00:21:44,429 --> 00:21:45,805 Hello. 232 00:21:53,229 --> 00:21:54,481 Oh! 233 00:22:09,412 --> 00:22:13,541 Her hair was the colour of gold in old paintings. 234 00:22:14,751 --> 00:22:17,879 She had a full set of curves 235 00:22:18,004 --> 00:22:22,759 and the kind of legs you'd like to suck on for a day. 236 00:22:22,884 --> 00:22:26,554 She gave me a look l could feel in my hip pocket. 237 00:22:28,264 --> 00:22:32,477 Yep, this was starting to get interesting. 238 00:22:38,233 --> 00:22:41,695 - Nice beaver. - Thank you. 239 00:22:41,820 --> 00:22:45,782 - l just had it stuffed. - Let me help you with that. 240 00:22:47,826 --> 00:22:50,870 This should be what you're looking for - 241 00:22:50,995 --> 00:22:53,707 the shipping and employment records for Pier 32. 242 00:22:53,832 --> 00:22:56,418 Thank you. 243 00:22:56,543 --> 00:22:59,045 l've heard police work is dangerous. 244 00:22:59,170 --> 00:23:01,464 Yes, that's why l carry a big gun. 245 00:23:02,048 --> 00:23:04,384 Couldn't it go off accidentally? 246 00:23:04,509 --> 00:23:06,761 l used to have that problem. 247 00:23:06,886 --> 00:23:08,888 What did you do about it? 248 00:23:09,014 --> 00:23:11,474 l just think about baseball. 249 00:23:13,309 --> 00:23:16,563 That's a honey of an ankle-bracelet you have there. 250 00:23:16,688 --> 00:23:19,441 Did it slip down there again? 251 00:23:19,566 --> 00:23:22,402 Yes, well... l'll quickly go through these 252 00:23:22,527 --> 00:23:24,529 and get them back to you tomorrow. 253 00:23:24,654 --> 00:23:29,284 Fine, but there's no rush. l mean, whenever you're through. 254 00:23:29,409 --> 00:23:33,538 Thank you. l wish there was some way l could repay you. 255 00:23:33,663 --> 00:23:38,835 How about dinner? l know a place that serves great Viking food. 256 00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:43,048 lt's tempting, but l'm afraid l must rest this evening, 257 00:23:43,173 --> 00:23:45,175 tomorrow being Arbor Day. 258 00:23:45,300 --> 00:23:48,136 Of course. Perhaps some other time. 259 00:23:48,261 --> 00:23:51,806 - How about a rain check? - Let's just stick to dinner. 260 00:23:51,931 --> 00:23:55,518 Thank you for your help, Miss Spencer. 261 00:23:56,895 --> 00:23:58,897 My pleasure. 262 00:23:59,022 --> 00:24:02,651 - Well? - Mr Ludwig, you startled me! 263 00:24:02,776 --> 00:24:04,611 l'm sorry, my dear. 264 00:24:04,736 --> 00:24:07,864 Did you give the lieutenant what he wanted? 265 00:24:07,989 --> 00:24:10,533 l gave him copies of the files for Pier 32. 266 00:24:10,658 --> 00:24:12,661 Good. That's good. 267 00:24:12,786 --> 00:24:17,749 He is an intriguing fellow, don't you think? 268 00:24:17,874 --> 00:24:21,836 Well, l don't know. l've only just met him. 269 00:24:21,961 --> 00:24:23,797 He seems very nice. 270 00:24:23,922 --> 00:24:27,092 Jane, l realise this is an unusual request, 271 00:24:27,217 --> 00:24:30,512 but if there is something illegal going on in this company, 272 00:24:30,637 --> 00:24:34,391 l need to know about it, so we can root it out. 273 00:24:34,516 --> 00:24:36,559 That's why l want you to... 274 00:24:36,685 --> 00:24:40,897 well, to get to know Drebin a little better, 275 00:24:41,022 --> 00:24:43,024 find out what he knows. 276 00:24:43,149 --> 00:24:45,902 Wouldn't this be best handled by the police? 277 00:24:46,027 --> 00:24:49,322 We are letting the police handle it, my dear! 278 00:24:49,447 --> 00:24:52,492 But we need to know the facts quickly 279 00:24:52,617 --> 00:24:55,703 before anything gets into the newspapers. 280 00:24:55,829 --> 00:25:00,250 Don't forget, l have a responsibility to the stockholders. 281 00:25:00,375 --> 00:25:03,878 Well...if you put it that way... 282 00:25:04,004 --> 00:25:07,882 - Yes, l'll do my best. - That's better. 283 00:25:10,969 --> 00:25:13,847 l'm sure you will. 284 00:25:19,144 --> 00:25:23,440 lt was about 4pm when l returned to Police Squad. 285 00:25:23,565 --> 00:25:28,153 l wanted to see what the lab had come up with on Nordberg's jacket, 286 00:25:28,278 --> 00:25:30,697 the one they'd found on the docks. 287 00:25:30,822 --> 00:25:34,492 You can tell a lot from fibre samples if they aren't too wet. 288 00:25:34,617 --> 00:25:37,162 l was hoping we wouldn't come up dry. 289 00:25:37,287 --> 00:25:38,872 Hey, look out! 290 00:25:41,166 --> 00:25:42,876 Police! Halt! 291 00:25:51,843 --> 00:25:54,679 Anybody catch the licence plate? 292 00:25:55,138 --> 00:25:58,183 Anybody get a look at the driver? 293 00:26:01,645 --> 00:26:04,898 Take the names of everybody here for questioning. 294 00:26:05,023 --> 00:26:08,777 l've got to get...inside. 295 00:26:15,575 --> 00:26:18,912 Hi, Ed, Ted. You got those fibre samples yet? 296 00:26:19,037 --> 00:26:21,081 - We got some action here. - What? 297 00:26:21,206 --> 00:26:23,625 We're testing our anti-graffiti wall. 298 00:26:23,750 --> 00:26:25,585 We've got customers. 299 00:26:25,710 --> 00:26:29,381 lt reacts when the spray hits the sensors. 300 00:26:32,676 --> 00:26:34,886 You've done it again - mazel tov! 301 00:26:35,011 --> 00:26:37,764 Good work. What will you think of next? 302 00:26:37,889 --> 00:26:39,891 Now that you mention it, 303 00:26:40,016 --> 00:26:42,852 here's something we developed only yesterday. 304 00:26:42,978 --> 00:26:45,772 To the casual observer - an ordinary shoe. 305 00:26:45,897 --> 00:26:49,776 But in actuality... it makes a handy weapon. 306 00:26:49,901 --> 00:26:53,113 And everything a cop would need. 307 00:26:53,238 --> 00:26:55,281 We call it the Swiss Army Shoe. 308 00:26:55,407 --> 00:26:59,953 - Great. And the fibre samples? - Just one more thing. 309 00:27:00,078 --> 00:27:02,330 See these cufflinks l'm wearing? 310 00:27:02,455 --> 00:27:07,085 They're not just cufflinks. Each one fires a single pin-sized dart, 311 00:27:07,210 --> 00:27:10,255 that knocks out your victim for a few minutes. 312 00:27:10,380 --> 00:27:12,590 Let me demonstrate on Ed. 313 00:27:14,592 --> 00:27:17,262 Ted! Why? 314 00:27:19,222 --> 00:27:22,267 Don't worry. He'll be up and around in no time. 315 00:27:22,392 --> 00:27:26,479 - Why don't you take a pair? - Actually, l could use another pair. 316 00:27:26,604 --> 00:27:28,440 l think you'll like them. 317 00:27:28,565 --> 00:27:31,276 - Want this, chief? - Thank you, Al. 318 00:27:31,401 --> 00:27:34,446 There's something on the side of your mouth, Al. 319 00:27:34,571 --> 00:27:37,073 No, no. The other side. 320 00:27:37,198 --> 00:27:41,870 As you requested, we took some fibre samples from Nordberg's jacket. 321 00:27:41,995 --> 00:27:44,372 l'm afraid it doesn't look good. 322 00:27:44,497 --> 00:27:47,959 - What do you mean? - Take a look for yourself. 323 00:27:50,587 --> 00:27:54,466 - l can't see anything. - Use your open eye, Frank. 324 00:27:55,216 --> 00:27:57,218 Yeah, l can see it now. 325 00:27:57,343 --> 00:28:00,889 At first, it appears to be the normal cotton fibres. 326 00:28:01,014 --> 00:28:03,683 But we discovered a fine white powder. 327 00:28:05,226 --> 00:28:07,520 Pure heroin. 328 00:28:07,645 --> 00:28:10,690 How well do you know Nordberg? 329 00:28:10,815 --> 00:28:14,361 We were partners for nine years and he's my best friend. 330 00:28:14,486 --> 00:28:17,864 We can't allow personal feelings to get in the way. 331 00:28:17,989 --> 00:28:22,702 - Are you saying that Nordberg...? - The Queen arrives in two days. 332 00:28:22,827 --> 00:28:25,330 lf the press should pick this up, 333 00:28:25,455 --> 00:28:28,500 it could be embarrassing for the police and the city. 334 00:28:28,625 --> 00:28:32,837 l'm sorry, Frank. l'm giving you 24 hours to clear Nordberg. 335 00:28:43,390 --> 00:28:45,392 - Mr Ludwig? - Yes? 336 00:28:45,517 --> 00:28:50,105 - A Mr Pahpshmir is here. - Show him in. 337 00:28:57,362 --> 00:29:00,407 ls there something wrong, Mr Ludwig? 338 00:29:00,532 --> 00:29:02,242 No, it's nothing. 339 00:29:02,367 --> 00:29:06,579 - Then may we get down to business? - Certainly. Have a seat. 340 00:29:06,705 --> 00:29:09,791 l can carry out your request. 341 00:29:09,916 --> 00:29:14,129 - My price is $20 million. - Your price is not a problem. 342 00:29:15,839 --> 00:29:19,551 But there is concern on the part of those l represent, 343 00:29:19,676 --> 00:29:25,432 that you would be able to... complete so difficult a task. 344 00:29:25,557 --> 00:29:27,892 Tell me, Mr Pahpshmir, 345 00:29:28,018 --> 00:29:33,565 in all the world, who is the most effective assassin? 346 00:29:33,690 --> 00:29:39,154 l would think anyone who manages to conceal his identity as an assassin. 347 00:29:39,279 --> 00:29:44,200 Yes, but there is even a more ideal assassin. 348 00:29:46,328 --> 00:29:50,540 One who doesn't know he is an assassin. 349 00:29:50,665 --> 00:29:53,334 - Care for some tea? - Yes, please. 350 00:29:53,418 --> 00:29:56,504 Dominique, service for two, please. 351 00:30:08,099 --> 00:30:10,769 l must kill Pahpshmir. 352 00:30:18,818 --> 00:30:22,530 - Cream and sugar, sir? - Mr Pahpshmir? 353 00:30:26,284 --> 00:30:28,411 Cream only, please. 354 00:30:30,205 --> 00:30:34,292 - There's a gun on the floor, sir! - Just leave it. lt's all right. 355 00:30:34,417 --> 00:30:37,629 - The tea, please. - Of course, sir. 356 00:30:39,631 --> 00:30:44,135 Mr Pahpshmir, have you ever seen sensory-induced hypnosis? 357 00:30:44,260 --> 00:30:46,262 l think l just have. 358 00:30:46,388 --> 00:30:49,099 How will she get near the target? 359 00:30:49,224 --> 00:30:53,144 Oh, l doubt whether it will be her. 360 00:30:53,269 --> 00:30:56,940 Good secretaries are so hard to find these days. 361 00:30:57,065 --> 00:30:59,651 And it seems to me... 362 00:31:00,944 --> 00:31:04,281 anyone...can be an assassin. 363 00:31:07,784 --> 00:31:12,414 l had 24 hours to find something to clear my friend's name. 364 00:31:12,539 --> 00:31:15,458 l returned to the hospital with Ludwig's records 365 00:31:15,583 --> 00:31:18,044 to try to jog Nordberg's memory. 366 00:31:18,169 --> 00:31:21,840 Doctor, l have the chart, if you're ready to go over it. 367 00:31:21,965 --> 00:31:25,051 l'll be with you when l've finished with Mr Nordberg. 368 00:31:25,176 --> 00:31:27,220 Yes, Doctor. 369 00:31:32,809 --> 00:31:35,478 You'll be out of here in a couple of... 370 00:31:41,526 --> 00:31:45,280 - l'd like to see Officer Nordberg. - Sign in, please. 371 00:31:45,405 --> 00:31:48,700 Wait a minute! Where's the police guard? 372 00:31:48,825 --> 00:31:52,746 - Drebin called and sent him home. - Drebin? 373 00:31:52,871 --> 00:31:58,460 l must kill Nordberg. l must kill Nordberg. 374 00:31:58,585 --> 00:32:01,796 Drebin, Police Squad! Let go of that pillow! 375 00:32:31,284 --> 00:32:34,120 Medical emergency! 376 00:32:40,585 --> 00:32:44,297 Drebin, Police Squad. Follow that black car! 377 00:32:46,174 --> 00:32:48,301 The car! Follow that car! 378 00:32:48,426 --> 00:32:52,013 Stephanie, check your mirror. Signal. 379 00:32:52,138 --> 00:32:54,557 Now pull into traffic. 380 00:32:57,769 --> 00:32:59,896 Try and ease off on the brake. 381 00:33:02,190 --> 00:33:06,194 - Give it a little gas. - l know a short cut. Turn left here! 382 00:33:09,572 --> 00:33:11,908 - There he is! - Easy! 383 00:33:27,048 --> 00:33:28,758 Turn right! Follow him! 384 00:33:28,883 --> 00:33:32,762 lt's OK. Normally, you would not be going 65 385 00:33:32,887 --> 00:33:35,932 down the wrong way of a one-way street. 386 00:33:37,892 --> 00:33:39,894 Apply the brakes. 387 00:33:40,895 --> 00:33:42,689 Now put it in reverse. 388 00:33:50,238 --> 00:33:52,615 - You dumb broad! - Stephanie... 389 00:33:52,741 --> 00:33:54,909 Gently extend your arm. 390 00:33:56,661 --> 00:34:00,081 Extend your middle finger. 391 00:34:02,876 --> 00:34:05,920 - Very good. Well done. - There he is! 392 00:34:06,046 --> 00:34:08,465 Go for it, Stephanie! 393 00:34:53,677 --> 00:34:55,553 Excuse me. Excuse me. 394 00:34:55,678 --> 00:34:59,099 All right, move on! Nothing to see here! 395 00:34:59,224 --> 00:35:01,643 Please disperse! 396 00:35:01,768 --> 00:35:04,270 Nothing to see here. Please! 397 00:35:06,689 --> 00:35:11,194 The attempt on Nordberg's life left me shaken and disturbed. 398 00:35:11,319 --> 00:35:14,155 The questions kept coming up again and again, 399 00:35:14,281 --> 00:35:16,324 like bubbles in a case of soda. 400 00:35:17,409 --> 00:35:19,744 Who was this character in the hospital? 401 00:35:19,869 --> 00:35:23,665 Why was he trying to kill Nordberg...and for whom? 402 00:35:23,790 --> 00:35:27,669 Did Ludwig lie to me? l didn't have any proof, 403 00:35:27,794 --> 00:35:30,338 but somehow, l didn't entirely trust him. 404 00:35:30,463 --> 00:35:34,217 Why was the ''l Luv You'' not listed in Ludwig's records? 405 00:35:34,342 --> 00:35:37,053 lf it was, did he know about it? 406 00:35:37,178 --> 00:35:39,389 lf he didn't, who did? 407 00:35:39,514 --> 00:35:41,683 And where the hell was l? 408 00:35:44,686 --> 00:35:47,272 lt was almost midnight when l got home. 409 00:35:47,397 --> 00:35:50,108 l just wanted to slip under my blankets, 410 00:35:50,233 --> 00:35:53,612 but my night was just about to begin. 411 00:36:32,442 --> 00:36:34,861 You're late. 412 00:36:36,071 --> 00:36:38,740 That depends on what l'm late for. 413 00:36:38,823 --> 00:36:41,868 You said we should have dinner some time. 414 00:36:41,993 --> 00:36:44,829 Tonight became ''some time''. 415 00:36:46,331 --> 00:36:48,458 l'm boiling a roast. 416 00:36:50,752 --> 00:36:53,213 How hot and wet do you like it? 417 00:36:53,338 --> 00:36:58,552 Very hot and awfully wet. 418 00:36:58,677 --> 00:37:02,389 You seem to know your way around a kitchen. 419 00:37:02,514 --> 00:37:05,934 l'm just as handy in other rooms of the house. 420 00:37:06,059 --> 00:37:08,353 That shirt looks familiar. 421 00:37:08,478 --> 00:37:12,690 lt's yours. l didn't want to get stained or wrinkled. 422 00:37:12,816 --> 00:37:15,777 At least...not yet. 423 00:37:19,072 --> 00:37:23,076 Do you mind if l slip into something more comfortable? 424 00:37:29,457 --> 00:37:31,918 There. That's better. 425 00:37:34,129 --> 00:37:37,132 l hope you've brought your appetite. 426 00:37:37,257 --> 00:37:39,092 l've brought everything. 427 00:37:39,217 --> 00:37:41,803 Well, then, dig in. 428 00:37:46,641 --> 00:37:51,146 lnteresting. Almost as interesting as the photographs l saw today. 429 00:37:51,271 --> 00:37:53,606 l was young. l needed the work. 430 00:37:53,732 --> 00:37:56,818 No, they were taken at Ludwig's docks. 431 00:37:56,943 --> 00:38:01,156 A ship came in, a Panamanian ship. lt wasn't on Ludwig's records. 432 00:38:01,281 --> 00:38:03,533 Probably an oversight. 433 00:38:03,658 --> 00:38:06,953 How is your...meat? 434 00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:12,083 You be the judge of that. 435 00:38:15,795 --> 00:38:17,172 Mmm... 436 00:38:20,008 --> 00:38:22,427 l've got nine more. 437 00:38:27,390 --> 00:38:30,060 - Have you seen that ship? - l don't know. 438 00:38:30,143 --> 00:38:33,938 lt doesn't look like ours, but we deal with so many ships. 439 00:38:34,063 --> 00:38:36,941 Has Officer Nordberg told you anything? 440 00:38:37,067 --> 00:38:41,071 No, there's been another attempt on his life. He's in a coma. 441 00:38:41,196 --> 00:38:45,450 That's terrible! This world is such a violent place. 442 00:38:45,575 --> 00:38:48,244 lf it wasn't, l'd be out of a job, 443 00:38:48,370 --> 00:38:53,041 but l'd give it up tomorrow to live in a world without crime. 444 00:38:54,292 --> 00:38:56,294 That's beautiful. 445 00:38:59,547 --> 00:39:02,342 This is all happening too fast. 446 00:39:05,136 --> 00:39:08,765 - l've been hurt before. - l'm sorry. 447 00:39:11,309 --> 00:39:13,311 l'd known her for years. 448 00:39:13,436 --> 00:39:16,773 We used to go to all the police functions together. 449 00:39:16,898 --> 00:39:20,068 How l loved her, but she had her music. 450 00:39:20,193 --> 00:39:22,946 l think she had her music. 451 00:39:23,071 --> 00:39:26,825 She'd hang out with the Chicago Male Chorus and Symphony. 452 00:39:26,950 --> 00:39:30,954 l don't recall her playing an instrument or being able to sing. 453 00:39:31,079 --> 00:39:33,999 Yet she was on the road 300 days of the year. 454 00:39:34,124 --> 00:39:39,170 l bought her a harp for Christmas. She asked me what it was. 455 00:39:41,631 --> 00:39:44,050 lt's the same old story. Boy finds girl. 456 00:39:44,175 --> 00:39:46,845 Boy loses girl. Girl finds boy. 457 00:39:46,928 --> 00:39:49,973 Boy forgets girl. Boy remembers girl. 458 00:39:50,098 --> 00:39:52,309 Girl dies in a blimp accident 459 00:39:52,434 --> 00:39:55,270 over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day. 460 00:39:55,395 --> 00:39:58,440 - Goodyear? - No, the worst. 461 00:39:58,565 --> 00:40:00,275 Poor dear! 462 00:40:03,695 --> 00:40:07,073 Now, now. l don't want to upset you. 463 00:40:07,198 --> 00:40:10,160 Frank, it's not that. 464 00:40:10,285 --> 00:40:12,662 Why did you have to be so wonderful? 465 00:40:14,247 --> 00:40:19,002 - There's something l must tell you. - No! No need to tell me anything. 466 00:40:19,127 --> 00:40:22,005 What's in the past doesn't matter anyway. 467 00:40:22,130 --> 00:40:23,506 Maybe... 468 00:40:23,632 --> 00:40:28,553 Maybe we're just two lonely souls who have found each other. 469 00:40:32,474 --> 00:40:34,851 Funny-face! 470 00:40:52,660 --> 00:40:56,289 l want you to know... l practise safe sex. 471 00:40:56,414 --> 00:40:58,124 So do l. 472 00:42:32,010 --> 00:42:36,514 l had a wonderful day, Frank. l can't believe we just met yesterday. 473 00:42:37,432 --> 00:42:40,477 You really mean that? You're not just saying it, 474 00:42:40,602 --> 00:42:43,021 because we exchanged bodily fluids? 475 00:42:43,146 --> 00:42:46,483 No, l really mean it. You're very special. 476 00:42:46,608 --> 00:42:50,904 - Can l interest you in a nightcap? - No, thanks, l don't wear them. 477 00:42:51,029 --> 00:42:53,323 Actually, l'm on stake-out tonight. 478 00:42:53,448 --> 00:42:57,327 l'll be thinking about you. l'll call you tomorrow. 479 00:42:58,620 --> 00:43:00,121 OK. 480 00:43:06,669 --> 00:43:08,672 Good night! 481 00:43:19,057 --> 00:43:22,102 The answer's up there in Ludwig's office. 482 00:43:22,227 --> 00:43:25,146 Call it what you will - a hunch, women's intuition. 483 00:43:25,271 --> 00:43:27,440 Ludwig knows more than he's saying. 484 00:43:27,565 --> 00:43:31,528 A hunch won't stand up in court. Where are your hard facts? 485 00:43:31,653 --> 00:43:35,490 He's the only one except us who knew Nordberg was still alive. 486 00:43:35,615 --> 00:43:40,036 Next thing we know, some thug tries to knock him off. 487 00:43:40,161 --> 00:43:45,083 Maybe. But breaking into Ludwig's office is taking a big chance. 488 00:43:45,208 --> 00:43:48,628 l know. You take a chance getting up in the morning, 489 00:43:48,753 --> 00:43:51,840 crossing the street or sticking your face in a fan. 490 00:43:51,965 --> 00:43:53,967 There he is! 491 00:43:57,762 --> 00:44:00,932 Just trust me on this, Ed. l know l'm right. 492 00:44:01,057 --> 00:44:02,976 OK, but be careful. 493 00:44:03,101 --> 00:44:06,146 Get some sleep. l'll see you in the morning. 494 00:44:57,906 --> 00:44:59,908 Bingo! 495 00:45:46,621 --> 00:45:49,666 ''20,000,000 deposited, Omani Bank, Zurich, 496 00:45:49,791 --> 00:45:51,960 ''upon proof of Queen's death.'' 497 00:48:14,436 --> 00:48:16,646 Destroying property, arson... 498 00:48:16,771 --> 00:48:19,858 sexual assault with a concrete dildo?! 499 00:48:19,983 --> 00:48:22,777 What the hell were you doing there? 500 00:48:22,902 --> 00:48:24,946 l'm sorry about that, Your Honour, 501 00:48:25,071 --> 00:48:29,284 but we believe Ludwig is involved in a plot to assassinate the Queen. 502 00:48:29,409 --> 00:48:33,163 That's ridiculous! Where is this ''evidence''? 503 00:48:33,288 --> 00:48:37,208 Well...it...burned in the f-fire. 504 00:48:37,333 --> 00:48:38,960 Gentlemen, 505 00:48:39,085 --> 00:48:43,423 Vincent Ludwig is one of the most respected members of this community. 506 00:48:43,548 --> 00:48:48,261 lf we're very nice to him, he will agree not to press charges. 507 00:48:48,386 --> 00:48:51,056 - Your Honour! - Did l make myself clear? 508 00:48:51,139 --> 00:48:53,725 Yes, Your Honour. Good day. 509 00:48:56,061 --> 00:48:58,062 Drebin! 510 00:48:58,188 --> 00:49:04,444 l don't want any more trouble like you had last year. That's my policy. 511 00:49:04,569 --> 00:49:09,783 When l see five weirdos dressed in togas stabbing a guy in a park, 512 00:49:09,908 --> 00:49:12,952 l shoot the bastards. That's my policy. 513 00:49:13,078 --> 00:49:19,876 That was a Shakespeare in the Park production of ''Julius Caesar''! 514 00:49:20,001 --> 00:49:24,631 - You killed five actors! Good ones. - Your Honour... 515 00:49:24,756 --> 00:49:29,052 Your presence at the Queen's reception tonight is not necessary. 516 00:49:29,177 --> 00:49:31,096 ls that understood? 517 00:49:31,221 --> 00:49:34,265 We understand, Your Honour. Thank you. 518 00:49:57,289 --> 00:49:59,874 The plane has taxied to a stop. 519 00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:02,961 Any minute now we expect the doors to open 520 00:50:03,086 --> 00:50:05,630 and we'll get a glimpse of the Queen, 521 00:50:05,755 --> 00:50:09,759 as she begins her first visit to Los Angeles in five years. 522 00:50:09,884 --> 00:50:13,388 lt's a balmy, beautiful evening too. 523 00:50:13,513 --> 00:50:16,891 She's going from here to a formal reception... 524 00:50:23,565 --> 00:50:25,358 - Jane! - Frank! 525 00:50:27,527 --> 00:50:30,572 l'm just making some dinner. Are you hungry? 526 00:50:30,697 --> 00:50:32,699 Maybe just a bite. 527 00:50:32,824 --> 00:50:35,869 Ludwig wanted me to ask you to meet him tonight. 528 00:50:35,994 --> 00:50:40,540 There is something you should know. l was in his place last night. 529 00:50:40,665 --> 00:50:45,462 How nice! Did he show you his Ming vases and rare oil paintings? 530 00:50:45,587 --> 00:50:49,883 Jane, l think that he's involved in a number of criminal activities. 531 00:50:50,008 --> 00:50:52,010 Frank, stop it! 532 00:50:52,135 --> 00:50:55,430 Vincent Ludwig is a well-respected, generous, kind man. 533 00:50:55,555 --> 00:50:58,767 - You don't know him like l do. - How's that? 534 00:50:58,892 --> 00:51:04,314 - What's that supposed to mean? - l'm sorry. l'm worried about you. 535 00:51:04,439 --> 00:51:08,526 l don't trust him and l don't want you mixed up in anything dangerous. 536 00:51:08,652 --> 00:51:11,863 Are Woo back in business? They closed down three years ago. 537 00:51:11,988 --> 00:51:16,993 Gee, has it been that long? l don't feel like Chinese tonight anyway. 538 00:51:18,787 --> 00:51:23,416 lt's sweet of you to be concerned, but you're wrong about Vincent. 539 00:51:23,541 --> 00:51:27,295 He's such a gentleman. He's so generous. 540 00:51:27,420 --> 00:51:29,422 He just wants to talk with you 541 00:51:29,547 --> 00:51:32,759 to clear up any doubts you might have. 542 00:51:32,884 --> 00:51:34,928 - When? - Tonight. 543 00:51:35,053 --> 00:51:37,889 Meet him at the 7th Street stockyards. 544 00:51:38,014 --> 00:51:40,850 All right, but promise you'll be careful. 545 00:51:40,976 --> 00:51:44,562 Of course l will, funny-face, for you. 546 00:51:45,855 --> 00:51:48,608 l've got to go. See you tomorrow. 547 00:51:48,733 --> 00:51:52,529 Are you sure you won't have something to eat? 548 00:52:17,720 --> 00:52:19,931 Ludwig? 549 00:52:20,056 --> 00:52:23,101 - Drebin? - Yeah, l'm Drebin. 550 00:52:23,226 --> 00:52:26,938 l have a message for you from Vincent Ludwig. 551 00:52:29,899 --> 00:52:31,901 l'm sorry, l can't hear you! 552 00:52:32,027 --> 00:52:34,988 Don't fire the gun while you're talking. 553 00:52:57,552 --> 00:53:02,349 All right, put your gun down and your hands up! 554 00:53:36,091 --> 00:53:38,802 Matthews, stake out that end, 555 00:53:38,927 --> 00:53:42,972 and card-check for anyone suspicious looking. 556 00:53:43,098 --> 00:53:45,141 Frank, what are you doing here? 557 00:53:45,266 --> 00:53:49,020 l've been trading shots with one of Ludwig's goons. 558 00:53:49,145 --> 00:53:52,816 They're planning to do her tonight, here. 559 00:53:52,941 --> 00:53:57,862 - We better be on the lookout. - Excuse me, ma'am, security. 560 00:53:59,739 --> 00:54:04,411 - What's the meaning of this? - Relax! Nothing will happen. 561 00:54:04,536 --> 00:54:07,580 - l didn't do anything. - Yeah? What about this? 562 00:54:07,706 --> 00:54:12,001 You think we were born yesterday? You didn't do anything, huh? 563 00:54:12,127 --> 00:54:13,670 l got rights! 564 00:54:13,795 --> 00:54:17,007 Ed, he's got a picture of your wife! 565 00:54:17,132 --> 00:54:19,134 Ethel! 566 00:54:20,760 --> 00:54:23,430 All right, anyone else here seeing his wife? 567 00:54:23,513 --> 00:54:26,850 That's all right, Frank. Let's get in the hall. 568 00:54:37,694 --> 00:54:39,696 Are you enjoying yourself, my dear? 569 00:54:39,821 --> 00:54:44,409 l'm so excited to be here. l appreciate your inviting me. 570 00:54:44,534 --> 00:54:48,330 Pleasure's all mine. Perhaps afterwards we can... 571 00:54:50,582 --> 00:54:52,375 - Drebin! - Frank! 572 00:54:52,500 --> 00:54:55,587 You're both right. Surprised to see me, Mr Ludwig? 573 00:54:55,712 --> 00:54:58,590 This is not the time or place to talk. 574 00:54:58,715 --> 00:55:01,259 lt's way past the time we talked. 575 00:55:01,384 --> 00:55:03,803 The gloves are off, l'm playing hardball. 576 00:55:03,928 --> 00:55:08,183 lt's fourth and fifteen, and you're looking at a full court press. 577 00:55:08,308 --> 00:55:12,229 Mr Drebin! lf you have evidence, then use it. 578 00:55:12,354 --> 00:55:16,274 lf not, l am warning you - get off my back! 579 00:55:16,399 --> 00:55:18,401 Or it will cost you dearly. 580 00:55:21,196 --> 00:55:25,366 - Frank, what's wrong? - A lot of things, sweetie-pie. 581 00:55:25,492 --> 00:55:29,162 A meeting that turned into a peek-a-boo session with bullets, 582 00:55:29,287 --> 00:55:32,499 set up by someone who's been playing me like a violin. 583 00:55:32,624 --> 00:55:35,376 Funny-face, what are you talking about? 584 00:55:35,502 --> 00:55:39,506 My stockyard meeting, butter-wings. Don't you remember setting that up? 585 00:55:39,631 --> 00:55:42,759 Mr Ludwig said you'd called it off! Believe me! 586 00:55:42,884 --> 00:55:45,178 Thumb me another one, shuckie-lumps! 587 00:55:45,303 --> 00:55:48,014 Frank, it's the truth! 588 00:55:48,139 --> 00:55:52,060 Cops and women don't mix. Like eating a spoonful of Drano. 589 00:55:52,185 --> 00:55:55,980 lt'll clean you out, but it'll leave you hollow inside. 590 00:55:56,106 --> 00:55:58,108 Too bad, sugar-puff. 591 00:55:59,567 --> 00:56:02,279 We could have been something. 592 00:56:02,404 --> 00:56:05,073 l only did what l was told to do! 593 00:56:05,156 --> 00:56:07,450 - Like make love to me? - Frank! 594 00:56:09,202 --> 00:56:11,371 That makes things easier, Princess. 595 00:56:11,496 --> 00:56:14,791 To think l trusted you! l made a big mistake. 596 00:56:14,916 --> 00:56:18,461 - You can take this back. - Whose is that? 597 00:56:20,588 --> 00:56:24,759 Doesn't matter. Take care of yourself, baby. 598 00:56:26,177 --> 00:56:28,054 By the way... 599 00:56:28,179 --> 00:56:30,098 l faked every orgasm. 600 00:56:31,099 --> 00:56:33,101 Funny-face! 601 00:56:33,935 --> 00:56:36,437 And to commemorate our friendship, 602 00:56:36,563 --> 00:56:41,067 the city of Los Angeles is proud to present to the Royal Family 603 00:56:41,192 --> 00:56:47,282 this Revolutionary War musket, donated by Mr Vincent Ludwig. 604 00:56:48,658 --> 00:56:51,828 Ladies and gentlemen, Her Royal Highness, 605 00:56:51,953 --> 00:56:54,748 Queen Elizabeth ll! 606 00:57:29,908 --> 00:57:34,663 lt's disgusting the way they splash this stuff all over the newspapers! 607 00:57:34,788 --> 00:57:37,374 What is journalism coming to? 608 00:57:37,499 --> 00:57:41,086 You're laying on top of the Queen with her legs wrapped around you 609 00:57:41,211 --> 00:57:42,754 and they call that news! 610 00:57:42,921 --> 00:57:46,383 They can't kick you off the Force, it's not fair. 611 00:57:46,508 --> 00:57:49,344 l know. Life isn't always fair. 612 00:57:49,469 --> 00:57:54,849 Just think, the next time l shoot someone, l could be arrested. 613 00:57:54,974 --> 00:57:57,060 Hey, look at that! 614 00:57:57,185 --> 00:58:02,273 The missing evidence in the Kilner case! My God, he WAS innocent! 615 00:58:02,399 --> 00:58:05,652 He went to the chair two years ago, Frank. 616 00:58:05,777 --> 00:58:09,114 Well...what's the use? 617 00:58:09,239 --> 00:58:12,283 What good are these damn awards and citations? 618 00:58:12,409 --> 00:58:13,993 Frank... 619 00:58:14,119 --> 00:58:16,621 Frank, that's not your desk! 620 00:58:16,746 --> 00:58:20,041 Frank! l've been looking all over for you! 621 00:58:20,166 --> 00:58:23,211 Running another errand for your boyfriend? 622 00:58:23,336 --> 00:58:26,881 l tried to call last night. l went by your place. Where were you? 623 00:58:27,007 --> 00:58:29,384 l was out walking. All night. 624 00:58:29,509 --> 00:58:32,470 Listen to me! l have important information. 625 00:58:32,595 --> 00:58:36,307 There was never anything between Vincent and me. 626 00:58:36,433 --> 00:58:39,769 - He likes East German men. - What about you? 627 00:58:39,894 --> 00:58:42,021 l like cops. 628 00:58:42,147 --> 00:58:45,984 - All right! Yeah! - Settle down. Take it easy. 629 00:58:47,152 --> 00:58:50,030 - What've you got? - l overheard Ludwig. 630 00:58:50,155 --> 00:58:55,243 You were right. He is planning to have someone assassinate the Queen! 631 00:58:55,368 --> 00:58:57,704 - Where? - At the baseball game. 632 00:58:57,829 --> 00:59:01,207 The Queen will be there as Ludwig's guest. 633 00:59:01,333 --> 00:59:05,420 ls Ludwig going to shoot her in front of 60,000 fans? 634 00:59:05,545 --> 00:59:08,298 No, a player, during the 7th inning stretch. 635 00:59:08,423 --> 00:59:11,217 - lt starts in 20 minutes. - l'll go. 636 00:59:11,343 --> 00:59:14,304 - l'll go with you. - Stay with Ludwig 637 00:59:14,429 --> 00:59:17,640 - to allay suspicion. - OK, let's go! 638 00:59:17,766 --> 00:59:19,517 Wait! Wait! 639 00:59:19,643 --> 00:59:23,688 l've gotten you into enough trouble already. l'll go alone. 640 00:59:23,813 --> 00:59:28,693 No! This'll get you back on the Force. We're right behind you. 641 00:59:31,571 --> 00:59:35,784 Frank? l wanted you to know now, 642 00:59:35,909 --> 00:59:40,163 l've loved you since the first day l met you, and l'll never stop. 643 00:59:40,288 --> 00:59:42,290 l'm a very lucky woman. 644 00:59:42,916 --> 00:59:44,292 So am l. 645 00:59:52,676 --> 00:59:57,138 Good afternoon. We're coming live from the Big A, 646 00:59:57,263 --> 01:00:00,392 where the California Angels meet the Seattle Mariners 647 01:00:00,517 --> 01:00:04,813 in their showdown for the Division League. 648 01:00:04,938 --> 01:00:08,650 Hello! l'm Curt Gowdy, along with Jim Palmer, 649 01:00:08,775 --> 01:00:11,820 Tim McCarver, Dick Vitale, Mel Allen, 650 01:00:11,945 --> 01:00:15,115 Dick Enberg and Dr Joyce Brothers. 651 01:00:15,240 --> 01:00:17,951 Join us for this all-important ball game. 652 01:00:18,076 --> 01:00:19,786 And a special game it is. 653 01:00:19,911 --> 01:00:23,707 As we know, it is being attended by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth. 654 01:00:23,832 --> 01:00:26,501 l'm sure she'll enjoy this game, Jim. 655 01:00:27,585 --> 01:00:29,629 We've got all the exits covered. 656 01:00:29,754 --> 01:00:31,798 l ought to arrest Ludwig right now. 657 01:00:31,923 --> 01:00:35,760 No, we've got to let him make the first move. 658 01:00:35,885 --> 01:00:39,556 The Mayor would have you arrested. You've got to stay out of sight. 659 01:00:39,681 --> 01:00:42,350 l've got to get that assassin. 660 01:00:42,434 --> 01:00:44,561 lt could be any of those players. 661 01:00:44,686 --> 01:00:48,189 l've got to get down on that field and search those players. 662 01:00:48,314 --> 01:00:51,818 Ladies and gentlemen, please rise and welcome 663 01:00:51,943 --> 01:00:54,487 Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth ll! 664 01:01:03,246 --> 01:01:05,248 One moment. 665 01:01:07,333 --> 01:01:10,253 Over there - these seats are taken. 666 01:01:25,852 --> 01:01:29,355 My dear, is something bothering you? 667 01:01:29,481 --> 01:01:31,149 No, why do you ask? 668 01:01:31,274 --> 01:01:35,445 You haven't said a word. You seem...nervous. 669 01:01:35,570 --> 01:01:40,200 Well, you know how important this game is for the Angels. 670 01:01:40,325 --> 01:01:43,870 Why he not here now? l do not like to wait for him. 671 01:01:43,995 --> 01:01:49,751 Mr Pallazzo, our head usher will be here in two minutes. Please wait. 672 01:01:49,876 --> 01:01:54,214 - He should be here now! - l'll send him right over. 673 01:01:54,339 --> 01:01:57,384 l do not wait for him! He waits for me! 674 01:02:02,097 --> 01:02:04,516 - Yes? - Mr Pallazzo? 675 01:02:04,641 --> 01:02:08,311 l am the head usher. l am here to... Excuse me. 676 01:02:14,025 --> 01:02:17,445 - Mr Pallazzo? - Yes? 677 01:02:17,570 --> 01:02:21,533 - l am the head usher. - One second. 678 01:02:21,658 --> 01:02:23,118 Ladies and gentlemen, 679 01:02:23,243 --> 01:02:27,539 on behalf of the California Angels and the City of Los Angeles, 680 01:02:27,664 --> 01:02:30,041 on the occasion of the royal visit, 681 01:02:30,166 --> 01:02:33,628 please welcome internationally-renowned opera star, 682 01:02:33,753 --> 01:02:36,131 Enrico Pallazzo! 683 01:02:39,092 --> 01:02:42,554 Ladies and gentlemen, let us honour America, 684 01:02:42,679 --> 01:02:48,602 as Mr Pallazzo will now sing our national anthem. 685 01:04:10,266 --> 01:04:14,312 And now we'll wait for the exchange of line-ups 686 01:04:14,437 --> 01:04:16,689 and the start of today's ball game. 687 01:04:25,198 --> 01:04:29,911 Excuse me, could you tell me, is this an official bat? 688 01:04:33,248 --> 01:04:36,793 The Queen's visit has brought a sell-out crowd! 689 01:04:36,918 --> 01:04:41,172 And the fans are being entertained by the stadium's Angel Vision, 690 01:04:41,297 --> 01:04:45,135 showing some unusual moments in baseball over the years! 691 01:05:05,447 --> 01:05:07,449 Sorry, fellas! 692 01:05:35,352 --> 01:05:37,604 How about that? 693 01:05:39,397 --> 01:05:41,149 Ladies and gentlemen, 694 01:05:41,274 --> 01:05:45,779 now taking the field - your California Angels! 695 01:05:52,660 --> 01:05:55,705 For everybody's safety, 696 01:05:55,830 --> 01:06:00,043 we ask that you do not throw any objects on the field. 697 01:06:00,168 --> 01:06:02,629 We thank you for your co-operation. 698 01:06:05,340 --> 01:06:09,844 As the Angels take the field, we're ready for the first pitch ceremony 699 01:06:09,969 --> 01:06:13,932 with the Queen of England ready to toss out the first ball. 700 01:06:17,394 --> 01:06:21,439 How about that? Let's have a round of applause! 701 01:06:21,564 --> 01:06:23,942 We're ready for the start, 702 01:06:24,067 --> 01:06:26,987 as these lovely ladies would agree. 703 01:06:27,112 --> 01:06:30,615 Those are the players' wives, here to enjoy the game. 704 01:06:38,623 --> 01:06:41,751 What d'you say, Cummings? Are we gonna do this today? 705 01:06:41,876 --> 01:06:43,461 Do what? 706 01:06:43,586 --> 01:06:45,338 Play ball! 707 01:06:48,508 --> 01:06:51,427 Frank! Al, it's Frank! 708 01:06:56,433 --> 01:07:00,854 The game's under way. Dave Spiwack ready to face Jay Johnstone! 709 01:07:20,290 --> 01:07:23,418 - Nothing to report. - Don't worry, Al. 710 01:07:23,543 --> 01:07:26,963 lf one of the players is the killer, Frank'll find him, 711 01:07:27,088 --> 01:07:30,300 even if he has to search every one of them. 712 01:07:30,425 --> 01:07:33,762 ..lead-off hitter Jay Johnstone. 713 01:07:33,887 --> 01:07:37,849 Hello, pal. Let's see if that uniform's on straight. 714 01:07:37,974 --> 01:07:42,812 Good here. Now let's see the shirt. You should take a large. 715 01:07:42,937 --> 01:07:46,024 lt's a little tight in the crotch. 716 01:07:46,149 --> 01:07:48,526 All right? All set? 717 01:07:50,820 --> 01:07:53,364 OK, play ball! 718 01:08:21,935 --> 01:08:23,854 Strike? 719 01:08:27,232 --> 01:08:29,484 Yeah, strike! 720 01:08:42,455 --> 01:08:46,584 Stee-rike two! 721 01:09:01,725 --> 01:09:07,063 Stee-rike three! 722 01:09:56,821 --> 01:09:58,615 You're clean! 723 01:11:49,392 --> 01:11:50,936 Have you found him yet? 724 01:11:51,061 --> 01:11:53,605 No, and l've searched almost everybody. 725 01:11:53,730 --> 01:11:57,859 Yeah. There's only one more out before the seventh inning stretch. 726 01:11:57,984 --> 01:12:02,447 You're going to have to stall them. Don't let 'em get that third out. 727 01:12:02,572 --> 01:12:04,199 Right. 728 01:12:05,825 --> 01:12:11,706 The Mariners' number four - Armando Criscione! Criscione! 729 01:12:18,963 --> 01:12:21,883 - Ball! - Ball? 730 01:12:32,352 --> 01:12:33,937 Ball! 731 01:12:45,240 --> 01:12:47,909 Get...get...what the...? Get off! 732 01:12:48,994 --> 01:12:50,996 Catch it! Catch it! 733 01:12:55,500 --> 01:12:57,544 - Get 'em off! - Go, go, go! 734 01:13:01,840 --> 01:13:04,426 - Safe! - What do you mean, safe? 735 01:13:04,551 --> 01:13:06,636 l don't believe it! 736 01:13:08,763 --> 01:13:10,557 Second base! On two! 737 01:13:11,766 --> 01:13:13,810 There's a throw by the catcher 738 01:13:13,935 --> 01:13:17,313 and now they've got Criscione hung up between 1st and 2nd! 739 01:13:17,438 --> 01:13:19,524 What the hell are you doing? 740 01:13:19,649 --> 01:13:20,775 What? 741 01:13:20,900 --> 01:13:25,655 - You're not supposed to do that! - Wait a minute! Stop that! 742 01:13:25,780 --> 01:13:28,450 Put that back down! Give me the ball! 743 01:13:31,119 --> 01:13:32,704 l'll get you! 744 01:13:32,829 --> 01:13:35,081 lt's hard to believe, 745 01:13:35,207 --> 01:13:38,877 but apparently the umpires have got Criscione in a run-down! 746 01:13:41,629 --> 01:13:43,339 - Safe! - Safe? 747 01:13:43,465 --> 01:13:44,841 How about that? 748 01:13:44,966 --> 01:13:46,760 - Out! - Safe! 749 01:13:46,885 --> 01:13:48,845 - Out! - He was safe! 750 01:13:48,970 --> 01:13:50,138 - Out! - Safe! 751 01:13:50,263 --> 01:13:52,724 There's a sight l've never seen! 752 01:13:54,518 --> 01:13:56,436 - Safe! - What are you doing? 753 01:13:56,561 --> 01:13:58,062 Safe! Safe! Safe! 754 01:13:58,187 --> 01:14:00,940 - He was out! - He was safe! 755 01:14:01,065 --> 01:14:03,818 You idiot! He was out! 756 01:14:03,943 --> 01:14:06,279 All right, you're out of here! 757 01:14:06,404 --> 01:14:09,449 - What? - You can't throw an umpire out! 758 01:14:09,574 --> 01:14:12,077 All right, YOU'RE out! 759 01:14:13,203 --> 01:14:17,332 Hold on! Even the guy running the scoreboard says he was out! 760 01:14:17,457 --> 01:14:20,752 And he's up in the mezzanine! 761 01:14:20,877 --> 01:14:22,253 lt's the third out! 762 01:14:39,646 --> 01:14:42,732 l must kill...the Queen. 763 01:14:47,445 --> 01:14:49,989 l must kill...the Queen. 764 01:14:52,742 --> 01:14:54,744 Frank, it's the right-fielder! 765 01:15:01,084 --> 01:15:04,796 - You're the boss! - lt was safe. 766 01:15:04,921 --> 01:15:07,465 Now, we're going to take a walk. 767 01:15:07,882 --> 01:15:10,719 How could you do something so vicious? 768 01:15:10,844 --> 01:15:15,682 lt was easy. Don't forget l spent two years as a building contractor. 769 01:15:15,807 --> 01:15:18,018 Now, let's go quietly. 770 01:15:22,564 --> 01:15:24,607 Hey, look at that! Let's get him! 771 01:15:35,911 --> 01:15:38,079 Kick him in the balls! 772 01:16:11,112 --> 01:16:14,074 l must kill...the Queen. 773 01:16:25,210 --> 01:16:27,003 Look out! 774 01:16:32,050 --> 01:16:36,346 The umpire... He saved the Queen's life! 775 01:16:36,471 --> 01:16:38,473 That's not the umpire, Your Honour. 776 01:16:42,686 --> 01:16:44,687 Hey, it's Enrico Pallazzo! 777 01:16:55,699 --> 01:16:58,743 Frank! Frank, help! 778 01:16:58,868 --> 01:17:01,830 Frank! Frank, help! Frank! 779 01:17:16,636 --> 01:17:18,513 Hold it, Ludwig! 780 01:17:18,638 --> 01:17:20,974 Stay where you are! 781 01:17:21,099 --> 01:17:23,518 - He's got a gun! - l know. 782 01:17:23,643 --> 01:17:27,313 You ruined my life. Now l'm going to ruin yours. 783 01:17:27,438 --> 01:17:30,400 - Leave the girl alone! - l am. l'm going to kill you. 784 01:17:30,525 --> 01:17:32,527 l see. 785 01:17:35,989 --> 01:17:38,158 Two can play at that game! 786 01:17:44,748 --> 01:17:47,584 - You killed him! - No, just stunned. 787 01:17:47,709 --> 01:17:49,627 He'll be all right. 788 01:17:56,051 --> 01:17:57,844 Well... 789 01:18:23,328 --> 01:18:26,373 Frank...it's horrible! 790 01:18:27,624 --> 01:18:31,711 - lt's so horrible! - l know, Ed. 791 01:18:32,378 --> 01:18:34,380 My father went the same way. 792 01:18:50,104 --> 01:18:54,275 l must kill...Frank Drebin. 793 01:18:54,400 --> 01:18:57,445 l must kill...Frank Drebin. 794 01:18:58,571 --> 01:19:00,782 No, no, don't shoot! 795 01:19:01,157 --> 01:19:04,995 Jane...it's me... 796 01:19:07,372 --> 01:19:08,748 Funny-face. 797 01:19:08,874 --> 01:19:12,669 l must kill Frank Drebin. 798 01:19:12,794 --> 01:19:15,547 You love Frank Drebin. 799 01:19:15,672 --> 01:19:18,633 And Frank Drebin loves you. 800 01:19:18,758 --> 01:19:22,637 Jane, if you don't love me, you might as well pull that trigger, 801 01:19:22,762 --> 01:19:28,518 because without you, l wouldn't want to live anyway. 802 01:19:28,643 --> 01:19:32,063 l've finally found someone l can love - 803 01:19:32,188 --> 01:19:36,317 a good, clean love... without utensils. 804 01:19:36,442 --> 01:19:39,237 l must kill Frank Drebin. 805 01:19:40,447 --> 01:19:42,782 lt's a topsy-turvy world, Jane, 806 01:19:42,907 --> 01:19:47,495 and maybe the problems of two people don't amount to a hill of beans, 807 01:19:47,621 --> 01:19:51,124 but this is our hill and these are our beans. 808 01:19:52,667 --> 01:19:57,172 Since l met you, l've noticed things l never knew where there - 809 01:19:57,297 --> 01:20:01,009 birds singing, dew glistening on a newly-formed leaf, 810 01:20:01,134 --> 01:20:03,470 stop lights... 811 01:20:03,595 --> 01:20:05,221 l must kill... 812 01:20:05,347 --> 01:20:08,683 Jane, this morning... 813 01:20:08,808 --> 01:20:12,979 l bought something for you. lt's not very much, 814 01:20:13,104 --> 01:20:18,193 but pretty good for an honest policeman's salary. 815 01:20:18,318 --> 01:20:20,236 lt's an engagement ring. 816 01:20:20,361 --> 01:20:22,364 l'd have given it to you earlier, 817 01:20:22,489 --> 01:20:25,700 but l wanted to wait until we were alone. 818 01:20:29,913 --> 01:20:32,874 - l... - l love you, Jane. 819 01:20:38,338 --> 01:20:40,131 Oh, Frank! 820 01:20:52,602 --> 01:20:54,812 l'm sorry! 821 01:21:05,448 --> 01:21:09,911 l'm sorry that l yelled at you yesterday, l really am. 822 01:21:11,913 --> 01:21:13,248 Drebin! 823 01:21:13,373 --> 01:21:16,042 l was wrong about you. 824 01:21:16,125 --> 01:21:20,213 This city and the whole world owes you a debt of gratitude. 825 01:21:20,338 --> 01:21:21,506 Thank you. 826 01:21:21,631 --> 01:21:24,926 And Monday morning we want you back at Police Squad... 827 01:21:25,051 --> 01:21:29,014 - with a promotion to captain. - Mayor... 828 01:21:29,139 --> 01:21:33,810 Don't thank me. There's someone else here who wants to thank you. 829 01:21:33,935 --> 01:21:36,271 - Nordberg! - Hiya, buddy! 830 01:21:36,396 --> 01:21:39,232 The doc says l should be on my feet in a week! 831 01:21:39,357 --> 01:21:43,236 - And back on the Force! - Nordberg, that's wonderful! 832 01:21:44,612 --> 01:21:47,866 Frank! Everyone should have a friend like you!